Am a lover of Jackson Biko(bikozulu)He has a way of intriguing his readers through his way teaching a lesson .So,few days a go. I came a cross his article about why children look for their fathers.. it was funny and sad but at the same time very relatable.
Growing up without one parent is one o the difficult things in life..I will talk about a dad because atleast I have experienced…haha.If you are a single parent you can relate to what am talking about.Your child will be nagging you with lots of questions of ‘wapi baba yangu,alienda wapi?atarudi?(where is my dad,where did he go,when is he coming back)this are very difficult questions to answer especially when the child is young.Its even harder when he has grown, because explaining to your child why he doesn’t have a father while you look into their eyes is the most difficult thing.You are able to feel their pain and what they are missing.Its alittle easier when he is dead because you will be like “daddy alienda heaven.”
my five year old niece knows her grandpa went to heaven.Its because she was there.Though she sometimes ask ‘Guka atarudi?or Guka ako kwa clouds?’it’s alittle easier because such a child grows up and understand that death happened.a child who grew up without a father is often incomplete..Honest opinion.There is a sense of incompleteness that one feels even in their adulthood,an emptiness that nothing else can feel,a thirst that cannot be quenched except by one action:getting to know who exactly is their father.
This daddy searching are most mysterious.I have to laugh.There are several reasons why I think so.One is finding the father,this searches can go for years, finding a clue, sometimes the clue is wrong,and when you find him,you always received in two ways,either he is gonna be very happy, apologize,try to make things right or just be there,he is not even excited to see you, you have few things to talk about or some are simply cold .Sadly the latter is what happens oftenly.
Personally, I grew up wanting to meet my dad badly,I don’t know why someone has to feel that way,But when I finally met him I realized we had almost nothing to talk about.the connection was almost not there and he was a person of a very different school of thoughts which is acceptable.But I still love that man alot..haha.
Am trying to say that it’s difficult to develop connection and a great relationship with a parent you have known in your adult…am saying that because some meet their fathers when they are in 50s.you can regret looking for him,some don’t regret though.So my point is, fathers,take care of your children,so that they cannot go through the hell of finding you in their adulthood.imagine going through hell finding your father and after finding him you go through hell development a great relationship.Tragedy