Jealousy in Friendship

By Lyn Achieng’

“When we name the jealousy, it loses its power, because we are no longer letting it shame us, “said Hibbert, author of a book “This is How We Grow. ”

Being jealous can arise in any relationship. Some may be jealous of a friend’s accomplishment, appearance, possessions, popularity or something else. It may also result when a friend wants to branch out of one group or best-friend relationship and develop other close relationships which causes feelings of anxiety about being left out.

Jealousy is a normal or natural feeling at times. It is not easy to feel happy and proud for a friend when negative feelings get in the way.

When jealous feeling arise, use your communication skills to discuss the problem. First you can use “I” messages to get your feelings out. If this is too difficult, try to talk openly with your friend by first writing a letter explaining your feelings and be sure to listen to your friend’s point of view, understand his or her feelings and of ways to work things out.

In addition, jealousy becomes problematic “when we act in jealousy or we wallow in it, “said Christina Hibbert, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in Flagstaff, Ariz.